Talk About It
Why should we talk to our kids about drugs and alcohol?
Drugs and alcohol are not easy topics to bring up. Especially with children and teens who may seem like they’re not listening or don’t care what you have to say.
But the truth is children care deeply about their parents’ opinions, even if they don’t show it outwardly. In fact, the #1 reason kids give for not drinking or using drugs is that they don’t want to disappoint their parents.
And children who learn about the risks of drugs from their parents are significantly less likely to use drugs.
If you talk to your kids directly and honestly, they are more likely to respect your rules and advice about alcohol and drug use.
Nationally, about 10 percent of 12-year-olds say they have tried alcohol, but by age 15, that number jumps to 50 percent. And then by senior year, almost 70 percent of high school students will have tried alcohol, half will have taken an illegal drug, and more than 20 percent will have used a prescription drug for a non medical purpose.
The sooner you talk to your children about alcohol and other drugs, the greater chance you have at making an impact on their decisions around drinking and substance use.
If you decide to not talk about drugs and alcohol, that also sends a message to teens. When parents don’t talk about the risks of underage drinking and substance use, it may lead kids to think there isn’t any harm in trying alcohol and other substances. Having a conversation allows parents to set clear rules about what they expect.
Here are some tips on how to have the conversation:
- Start calmly and casually: Avoid announcing “the talk.” Instead, look for opportunities to work your concerns into everyday conversations and surroundings such as in the car, during dinner or while you and your child are watching TV.
- Stay upbeat: Look for ways to praise what they doing right and express concern—rather than judgment—where needed.
- Be aware of your body language
- Focus on the facts: Instead of horror stories, stick to discussing tangible consequences and the good reasons to avoid them. Consider telling your kids relatable stories about making smart decisions when it comes to alcohol and other drugs or consequences of engaging in risky behaviors.
- Appeal to your child’s sense of self respect: Remind them of all of their accomplishments so far, all of the activities they are currently engaged with and plans for the future. Let them know they have too much going on in their life to need drugs and alcohol.
- Show your child you’re listening: You can do this by asking questions that encourage your child to elaborate and then repeating back to your child what you’re hearing from him.
- Help your teen navigate real-life situations: Be an active participant in helping your child figure out how to avoid drugs and alcohol at school, parties, or other situations.
- Let it go: Getting through to your teen can take time and it’s often better to let a tough topic go and come back to it later than to force a confrontation.
In addition to talking often with your child, it's important to set a good example. If you choose to drink, you can positively influence your child by drinking in moderation and never driving when you've been drinking. Be aware of where you keep your alcohol and any prescription drugs, and always remind your child that the alcohol in your house is off-limits.
Sources:
Parent Up: Talk About It
https://parentupvt.org/how-can-i-help-prevent-it/talk-about-it/
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Talk. They Hear You.
https://www.samhsa.gov/underage-drinking